secretlyfab

What I’m going through. It hurts. My heart hurts. A lot.

In Love on December 4, 2014 at 9:30 pm

Sometime, Somewhere

Performed by Basil Valdez
Composed by Ryan Cayabyab
We speak but the words we say mean nothing
We smile but the smiles we give are wanting
We look upon each other’s eyes,
No spark, no glow, no real signs, but we both know
This is all for show

Until that sometime, somewhere,
We could show the world we have each other
Sometime, somewhere, we need not hide our feelings
We just keep on believing
That we both have the time together
Sometime and somewhere, our lips would be free at last
To say the words we’ve hungered to say
And we won’t have to worry, we smile, we won’t say sorry
One look and we have cast our fears aside

Sometime, that sometime we’ll turn to forever for all time
Somewhere, our somewhere would not be just one place but everywhere

Until that sometime, somewhere,
We just have to be content with stealing glances
Somehow, content with saying nothing, smiles that are always wanting
Though deep inside it hurts because we know that our love,
Like love is what it is, it’s what we got
Our love, like love will have to wait until that sometime, somewhere

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Here’s this feeling again

In Love on July 5, 2014 at 11:31 am

Yep, someone’s invading my mind again throughout the day and night. Robbing me of precious sleep, of focus in my work.

It doesn’t help that my husband is short-tempered again.

You know what’s different this time? I think this is something that’ll last for a long time. We’re creating memories now and heaven help me from being condemned to hell, but I really am getting drowned with this guy.

The butterflies are flitting in my tummy, down to “down there”.

And we’re holding our gazes longer than normal.

Oh. My. Lord.

– – –

CONSTANTLY

(Click to listen to this song: Listen here )

Ha la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la
La la la la la la la

I knew it was there
Though I tried to hide it
The feeling just kept on shining through

Haven’t known you that long
So I tried to deny it
But the feeling was much too much too strong

Could this be love
Deep down inside
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart

[Chorus]
Constantly, you’re on my mind
Thinking ’bout you all the time
I can’t sleep, no matter what I do
I just keep on thinking ’bout you

Why do I feel this way
When I know you have someone
That you see in each and everyday.

Should I play this game?
Of just being your friend
When I know that’s not where I want it to end

How could this be wrong
But the feeling’s so strong
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart

[Chorus 2x]

Now I don’t want to start no trouble
Between you and I and your lover
But I must tell you what I’m going through
Everytime you walk by I see love in your eyes

[Repeat chorus until the song ends]

Musings after watching Miracle in Cell No. 7

In Father, Korea, Movies on July 5, 2014 at 11:24 am

Yesterday was my dad’s birthday. Last night, I started to watch this heartbreaking Korean movie “Miracle in Cell No. 7”.

Today is the day after my dad’s birthday. This morning, I finished the second half of the movie.

Here’s the plot I’ve snatched from Wikipedia:

A father (Ryoo Seung-Ryong), who is mentally handicapped, but loves his daughter very much, is falsely accused of a crime and sent to prison. Later, his daughter Ye-Seung (Park Shin-Hye, who is a law school student, works to prove his innocence. Back in 1997, Yong-Goo lives happily with his daughter Ye-Seung (Kal So-Won), even though he has the intelligence of a child. They stop by a shop everyday to look at a yellow Sailor Moon backpack that he hopes to buy his daughter. One day, they notice that the last yellow Sailor Moon backpack is being sold. Yong-Goo goes inside the store to plead his case, but the father buying the backpack ends up slapping Yong-Goo. The following day, the girl who bought the yellow Sailor Moon backpack sees Yong-Goo working in the grocery store parking lot. She tells him that she knows another store that sells the same yellow backpack. Yong-Goo follows the girl to a traditional outdoor market. A short while later, the girl is laying on the ground unconscious and Yong-Goo is trying to perform CPR. A woman walks by and calls the police. Yong-Goo is accused of kidnap and murder. The father of the dead girl is also the chief of the National Police Agency. Yong-Goo is given the death penalty and incarcerated. In prison, Yong-Goo shares a jail cell with five other inmates. One day, Yong-Goo saves the life of his cellmate So Yang-Ho (Oh Dal-Su) from a rival prison gang leader. So Yang-Ho then offers to help Yong-Goo in any way he can to return the favor. Yong-Goo tells So Yang-Ho that he wants to see his daughter Ye-Seung. The five inmates then plan to make a miracle happen.

You see, I’ve reached the limits of my patience with my dad. For the most part, he’s been a good father to his children. As we grew older, he just deteriorated to using his children to save himself from business failures, illegal dealings, immorality, lies…

Some say that what matters is that you are grateful for him giving you your life. He’s your father, no matter how much you think about it. To show him your love before it’s too late.

I think I’ve shown him my gratitude and love in the past. Now, am I such a heartless and evil person for feeling nothing much for him? I check myself if I’ve turned into a horrible person for NOT FEELING ANYTHING FOR HIM ANYMORE.

Quite the opposite for this movie, though. The father was a pure father until the end. And that’s why I cried buckets of tears. That’s why it ripped me badly.

So I am still capable of feeling something.

May the Lord forgive me.

(Watch this wonderful movie at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_J0YkaKW0II#t=4298 )

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